Introvert vs. Extrovert

Would you call yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

Growing up I started out as an extrovert, but as I got older I became a total introvert.

Now as I’ve started facing some of my ‘issues’ head on, I’ve started becoming more of an extrovert. It’s totally weird for me but lately I’ve been more talkative and letting people into my life on a different level than I have in at least 20 years. I don’t really know what started it maybe it’s just because I’m truly happy with every aspect of my life these days so I feel more comfortable being me. Or maybe it’s because a majority of the relationships I have with the people in my life have existed for so long that I truly trust the people I’m around.

No, that can’t be it because I’m even letting my ‘new’ friends in more than I would have before. Oh well, who knows. All I do know is I’m enjoying it.

I’ve spent most of my life being a total loner because people just didn’t understand me the way they understood their other friends, and my disability didn’t help things either.

People didn’t want to deal with my physical limitations, bladder and bowel problems and the biggest of them all, my allergy. So I got excluded a lot mostly from parties where balloons would be present. For those of you who don’t know if I’m in the same room with a balloon I can’t breathe, it’s part of my latex allergy.

Now that I’m an adult and surrounded by people who (for the most part) understand that there are certain precautions I have to take before doing anything as simple as going to dinner, I guess I’m opening up to them because I feel safe again.

I guess part of it also has to do with me stating my boundaries too. A few years ago I got invited to a baby shower and assured no balloons would be there. When I arrived there were balloons everywhere, Diamond was alerting constantly, and the woman’s response was “someone told me if you didn’t touch them you’d be fine.” So instead of leaving and saying “that’s not true”, I popped a bunch of Benedryl, told Diamond to chill, and stayed. That night I got extremely sick. This time when I was invited to her baby shower for her second child, I didn’t go. When she asked why I wasn’t going I told her that if my allergy was that inconsequential to her I wasn’t going to take the risk.

Over the past few years I’ve learned that some people will never get it. Whether it’s my disability, my allergy, Diamond or anything else. But I’ve also learned that I don’t have to take it or put myself at risk for the sake of being polite. I will continue to be as polite as possible but if someone puts me at risk for having a latex reaction or tells me I can’t take Diamond then it’s not worth it.

I have more friends than I ever have, and although most of them don’t live here I still consider them friends. I enjoy hanging out with people more than I ever have, mostly because I finally feel respected and taken seriously. And although I still enjoy time alone more than time with people I’ve definitely stepped out of the darkness of wanting to be by myself 100% of the time and can now enjoy the company of others.

I don’t think I’ll ever be a total extrovert, or even enjoy large groups of people but now I can say that I do enjoy hanging out with a few people. Which is more than I could have said 10 years ago. I know sometimes I go on and on about friends in some of my posts but for someone who never had any growing up it’s weird to have them now and watch their numbers grow.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival.”
- C. S. Lewis

On another note, I’m still studying my math and still doing amazingly well. Robert says he wouldn’t be surprised if math becomes my thing. I told him not to hold his breath. (LOL) One more week!!! eeeeeeeeek!!

Song of the Day – The Beatles – Here Comes The Sun

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it’s all right
Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it’s all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it’s all right
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it’s all right
It’s all right

Oh and I haven’t done it in a while but the Positivity of the Day from the last time I did it til now has been MY LIFE!! and everything in it…. okay well almost everything.

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